Jet Fuel Formula Episode 16: Canoes Who? or Look Before You Leak/Transcript
(canoe paddles over water) Narrator: 'Well, the big overland canoe race is on. Boris and Natasha, with the priceless mooseberry bush, are fleeing just a few miles ahead of Rocky and Bullwinkle in their remodeled leaky airplane. Starting at Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, the two vessels raced through a couple of the largest Great Lakes. '''Boris: '''Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! '''Bullwinkle: '''Bail! Bail! Bail! '''Narrator: '''Then, as they ran out of water, they carried their canoes on a portage through Chicago. '''Rocky: '''Which way to Fort Wayne? '''Police Officer: '''That way. '''Bullwinkle: '''Thanks! ''(The heroes and villains' canoes bump into each other; neither recognizes each other's identity) '''Bullwinkle: '''Oh, excuse me. '''Boris: '''It's all right. '''Narrator: '''And a little while later, watchers of the Gold Cup Powerboat Race a couple of hundred miles away were awed when the number one speedboat was overtaken by not one, but two boats! '''Boris: '''Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! '''Bullwinkle: '''Bail! Bail! Bail! '''Rocky: '''Hold it, Bullwinkle! '''Bullwinkle: '''Boy, that was close. Almost bailed out the captain. '''Rocky: '''How are we doing? '''Bullwinkle: '''That leak's gaining on me. We'd better get where we're going in a hurry. '''Rocky: '''We will if the wind holds out. '''Bullwinkle: '''Bail! Bail! Bail! '''Boris: '''Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! '''Natasha: '''Boris, Boris! '''Boris: '''Huh? '''Natasha: ''(exhausted) Boris, when is your half of paddling going to start. '''Boris: '''Don't worry, I'll do my half. Now, stroke! Stroke! Stroke! '''Narrator: '''A short time later at the locks of St. Lawrence Seaway, a bell rang to signal that a ship wanted to get through. '''Gate Operator: '''All right, but there ain't no ship there. ''(the locks open and Boris and Natasha's canoe goes through) Boris: 'Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! '''Gate Operator: '''Say! A canoe full of Indians just went by here! I don't care if you believe it! I just saw...! ''(Rocky and Bullwinkle's canoe also goes through) 'Bullwinkle: '''Bail! Bail! Bail! Bail! '''Gate Operator: '''Never mind. This one I don't believe myself. '''Narrator: '''Soon, the two vessels had run out of large bodies of water. They began to travel in small rivers or creeks, in irrigation ditches, anywhere there was even a trace of water. They sailed on and on and on. '''Boris: '''Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! '''Bullwinkle: '''Bail! Bail! Bail! ''(to himself) ''Sort of like riding on a soggy freeway, ain't it? '''Narrator: '''Crowds began to gather to watch them go by. '''Spectator: '''Here they come! '''Boris: '''Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! '''Bullwinkle: '''Bail! Bail! Bail! Bail! Bail! Bail! Bail! Bail! Bail! '''Narrator: '''They went through city parks. '''Boris: '''Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! '''Bullwinkle: '''Bail! Bail! Bail! '''Narrator: '''They went through amusement parks. ''(a young couple has just finished their ride through the Tunnel of Love) '''Ride Operator: '''Have a nice ride, folks? '''Woman: ''(chuckles) I sure did. '''Boris: '''Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! '''Bullwinkle: '''Bail! Bail! Bail! '''Narrator: '''They even got through some places without carrying their boats. '''Boy: '''Look out, Eddy! ''(the two canoes pass by, nearly running the kids over) Boris: 'Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! '''Bullwinkle: '''Bail! Bail! Bail! '''Narrator: '''And finally, on one foggy evening as they approached Washington D.C., only a few yards separated them. '''Boris: '''Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! '''Bullwinkle: '''Bail! Bail! Bail! '''Boris: '''Stroke! Stroke! '''Bullwinkle: '''Bail! Bail! '''Boris: '''Stroke! ''(a beat) 'Bullwinkle: '''Hmm. There's quite a echo. Bail! '''Boris: '''Stroke! ''(another beat) 'Bullwinkle: '''Bail! '''Boris: '''Stroke! '''Bullwinkle: '''That's the first echo I ever heard that wrote its own dialogue. '''Natasha: '''Boris, when is your half of paddling going to start? '''Boris: '''Any mile now, Natasha. Shh! I think they're right behind us. '''Rocky: '''Gee, it sure is foggy. '''Bullwinkle: '''Yeah. I can't see my nose in front of my face. Of course, that's quite a distance. ''(laughs) '''Boris: ''(to Natasha) You hear that? It's the squirrel and moose! They mustn't catch us! '''Narrator: '''Just then, Boris's canoe bumped into a warning sign. '''Boris: '(reading) ''"Straight ahead only. No left turn. Dangerous sawmill." Sawmill, eh? Now, we play little word game with that sign. '''Natasha: '''What game is that? '''Boris: '''You heard of Russian Roulette? ''(Boris changes the words to "No straight ahead. Left turn only. Dangerous sawmill.") 'Natasha: '''Yes. '''Boris: '''This is Russian Scrabble! '''Narrator: '''And so, when our heroes came to the sign, they turned left toward the sawmill. And a moment later, the stillness was broken by a hideous sound. ''(loud sawmill blades whirring) 'Narrator: '''Have our friends really run into more than they can handle? Don't miss our next episode: ''"Two for the Ripsaw" or "Goodbye, Mr. Chips!"